


something to fight for (reupload)

by Music119



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Boys In Love, Cas deserves better, Cute, Destiel - Freeform, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Human Castiel (Supernatural), I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, POV Dean Winchester, Protective Dean Winchester, Secret Relationship, Sharing a Room, fighter!AU, fighter!Dean
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-19
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:07:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,655
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23208982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Music119/pseuds/Music119
Summary: Dean "the hunter" Winchester is the best fighter in New York City. its simply a fact. he has been fighting as long as he can remember. he lives for the discipline, the adrenaline rush. he believes there is a right way and a wrong way to do things which is why Cas presents such a problemCastiel "pretty boy" Novak is also one of the best fighters, but unlike Dean, he likes to live life one drink at a time, he is not afraid to have a good time. Dean can't stand Cas after an unfortunate event from there past and has made his whole life around forgetting himwhen an unfortunate situation the two rivals end up not only having to spend a week together but also share a room.maybe Cas is not as bad as Dean once thought he was-----------I'm awful at summaries but this is cute and happy with a side of angst, please read!! you won't regret
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Gabriel/Sam Winchester, other - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 4





	1. ONE

**Author's Note:**

> hey, guys, this is a re-upload of my first story! I plan of updating this twice a week so stay tuned!!! I hope you all like it

Dean was the best  
Some people were good at writing, or dancing, maybe even singing or cooking, but he was the best fighter in New York City. It was simply a fact.  
Ever since he was a little kid he had loved fighting. The first time he stepped into a boxing gym he had know it was where he wanted to be, where he was meant to be. In Deans head fighting was something solid, something structured. There was a right way and a wrong way to do things, which is exactly how he liked to live his life, in black and white. 

“Hey Dean” the girl at the front desk said as he walked through the threshold of the gym.  
Jane. She was nice enough, pretty even 

“Hey Jane, how was your weekend” 

Her cheeks blushed at the question, he knew Jane was in love with him, Christ the whole gym knew that she was, its not like she tried hard to hide it or be subtle. Of course, he had tried to shut it down early on, to stop her from getting the wrong idea but she seemed oblivious to his uncomfortable conversations and smiles

“it was awesome, yeah I went to the movies with my brother because Kyle broke up with me..” she looked down at her hands as if waiting for some kind of sympathy from him, Dean took that as his cue to leave. Its not that he didn’t want to comfort her , it was more then he never knew what to say when people where upset. Bedsides she was waiting for him to say things she would never hear from him so it was better to just leave it at that and walk into the work out area

The gym was one of the most prestigious gyms in the city, The Family Business. It was a gym that trained the best fighters in the city and had no time for people who were not willing to give it their all. The coaches were world-renowned, the gear was the best, The gym was so elite you had to go through an interviewing process to even become a member. It was a status that few could say they had the honor of having. The gym itself looked exactly like it sounds, all big open spaces and windows, eight heavy bags hang from the celling’s across from a large mirror. It was supposed to look modern and clean, it is supposed to look expensive.  
Dean walked past the other fighters who were on the floor and went straight to the locker room to dump his bag.  
Just as he got to his locker he heard the door slam open 

“Dean!!! There you are ! I’ve ben looking for you everywhere” a very sweaty man named John rushes out.

“well I just got here so what’s so important” he doesn’t have time for Johns shit today.

“I need a someone to corner Haydens fight next weekend. Something has come up and I wont be able to attend” typical. Back In his day John was one of the top fighters in the world. He had money, and titles, the world was at his fingertips! But like most stories his victory came at a price. He was so obsessed with his dream of being the best that he neglected his wife who was pregnant with their second child. Turns. Because of complications from birth his wife had died, leaving him responsible for their two children alone. It was not long after that that he deiced to hang up his gloves and open a gym; The family Business. fast forward 22 years and he is one of the most successful gym owners in new York city.

Oh yeah, he was also Deans dad.

“sure whatever, do you know who he’s fighting?” 

“Yeah one of Chuck's guys, from Nephilim” Dean rolled his eyes, of course it had to be from Nephilim.  
Nephilim was a rival gym up in Brooklyn. It was in Deans opinion, everything wrong with the sport. The fighters were disrespectful and fought dirty, they were dirty. It was really a miracle that they fought at all considering how much they liked to party, Nephilim had been at war with The Family Business for as long as he can remember, it only makes sense that Hayden’s first fight should be against one of them.

“I thought Chuck was done taking people to fights, it was in his words “to much work and not enough pay” Chuck Novak was one of the worst coaches in the entire sport, like ever. He was never around, he doesn’t care about whether or not his fighter’s are trained well of not, he is in It for the money instead of a love for the sport. The only thing that keep’s the gym in the same light as TFB was chucks son.

“Hes not taking him, Cas is .”

Castiel Novak . Even the thought sparked something In Dean, something atoned to . If the name did not give it away, Cas was the prodigals son, and the head coach of the dreadful gym. In the fight world Cas was the best, other then Dean of course. Everyone knew the story, he had been groomed from birth in order to be the best, and he was. It was almost like a retirement plan for Chuck. the two of them had fought many times inside the ring, and their revival was not over once they got out of it. Cas was self-centered, and arrogant, he never showed up on time and was the definition of disrespect. Whether he was born to make his dad money or not, he was one of the best and Dean hated him even more for.

“that’s surprising. I thought he would be too busy sleeping with every person in Brooklyn to do something as mundane as taking some kid to a fight”  
Cas had a reputation for his notorious habits. He was known as the king of the broklynn scene. He got whatever and who ever he wanted whenever he want them. He was crazy and unpredictable, his life was something straight out of a play boy magazine 

“don’t be petty. He’s as good if not better then you” the look in Johns eyes when he said it was enough to tell him that the conversation was over.  
Dean just sighed and went to go find Hayden

Hayden was a new fighter to the gym, but he was without a doubt an up in comer. He was also one of Deans closest friends. The two had met when he was four years old when Dean moved to New York from a small middle of nowhere town in Canada. He had been over whelmed to say the lest, but Hayden had taken him under his wing and they soon became family. Although Hayden had been In the gym almost as much as Dean had, he had never wanted to give it a try. It was not until they got older and Hayden saw all the attention Dean was getting, more importantly the attention from the girls. When he had brought it up, Dean had just laughed and flipped him off, but fast forward a couple months and Hayden Was about to step into the ring for the first time.

“how are you feeling about fighting one of Chucks guys? Ive heard he was personally trained by Cas himself for this fight” he rolled his eyes as he said it, trying to fake annoyance because truth be told as much as Dean disliked Cas , if Jordan was trained by him personally then he will be a tough fight, he just doesn’t want Hayden to know that.  
Hayden finished his round on the bag before he looked up “pretty confident. Jordan has next to no experience, and im sure pretty boy over there has been to wasted to train him properly,” he looked back at the bag before continuing “besides, I was trained by the best fighter in New York” he gave Dean a wink before he started his next round., the action making Deans heart beat a little faster.  
He hummed in response.The only thing that will hurt him is going to be his ego.

“I heard that Cas is trying to get a title shot but no one is qualified enough to fight him” Dean could not help but laugh at that. He really did try to stay away from the drama between the gyms but when he was around Hayden he couldn’t help it.

“im sure they don’t want to taint their records by putting his name on it” said Hayden when Dean said nothing

“come on, he’s not that bad” a look of disbelieve flashed across Haydens face

Truth be told, Dean may have a person problem with the man but he dose have a sliver of respect for him. No matter how much he drinks or parties, there is no way to take the easy way when it comes to fighting, it is a hard and vicious game that there is no easy way to do, he to put in lots of hard work and sacrifice in order to be as good as he is now. Even if Dean dose not like him, he still has a sliver of respect for what he has done

“whatever dude” Hayden turned back to his bag to finish his work out  
Dean could not help but notice the way that Haydens shirt was just a size too small, the way the fabric stretched across the lean muscles in his back and made everything just look more defined. He cleared his throat. Now was not the time for this

“Okay, I think your ready”  
-

The days leading up to Hayden’s big fight felt like near minutes to Dean. He was so caught up in all the last minute preparations, including having to supervise Hayden while he ran sprints in a extra duty garbage bag because the idiot decided to wait until the day before to make weight, that when the big day finally arrived he felt like it was already over. Because the fight was to take place in Orlando Florida, and because the promoters of the fight decide they were not going to help them out with the coast of the flight Dean, Hayden and Deans brother all decided to risk the 16 hour drive to the hotel, something that he was sure would be more stressful then fighting

“are we almost thereeeee” whined both Hayden and Sam at the same time. 

Since Hayden had always been around, he was not only like a brother to Dean, but also to Sam. The two were attached at the hip most of the time. It made him happy to see how well Hayden fit into his life, and into his family. Sam might have grown up in a house of fighters but he was definitely not one. he was the definition on a passivist who thought Dean and Hayden were absolutely insane for choosing to get punched in the face for fun, all it took was one punch to the head for him to decided fighting was something he never, ever wanted to do again. Because of that, Sam was more of a family out cast then Dean would ever be. The second he turned eighteen he moved to a small apartment in Brooklyn, somewhere he knew he family would never follow. For that reason Dean dose not get to see him as much as he would like so he was excited to spend the week with him and Hayden.

“I told you guys we should have just flown” Dean said, eyes never leaving the road in front of him. Its not that he didn’t like driving, because he did. It was the idea of all of them in a car for 16 hours that he dident love as much

“aw but then we wouldn’t be able to sing show tunes the whole way” Sam said while turning up the radio louder then Dean thought it could go while Hayden pretend to be offended by his choice in music. He couldn’t help but smile.  
-  
At the end of the first day, the trio deiced to get a hotel room, well two hotel rooms because since Hayden is fighting he deiced he needed to get in his “Zone” and stay by himself. He had never been able to say no to him and understood how terrified he must be even if he would deny it.  
He remembered the first time he stepped into the ring. He was 8 years old and absolutely terrified. When he walked out to the ring he wanted to do nothing more then run away. The music was too loud; the lights were to bright, it was wrong in every aspect of the word. he looked at his dad who was standing behind him and begged him to stop it, and let him go home where he would be safe. But all his dad did was push him forward and tell him to keep his hands up. It was the most import day of Deans life. So since he understands that Hayden needs space to freak out, he has to share a room with Sam, awesome.

“so how’s Gabe doing” he asks while walking up to their room door. Gabe was Sams boyfriend. Sam had been in a pretty serious relationship with a beautiful girl who he thought he would marry, after they fell apart he needed something to do so him and Gabe had gotten together as a joke to spit his dad, but then they ended up falling in love and moving in together. Sam has been in countless relationships but this time it was different, he looked happier.

“hes going good just got that job at the new York times which is basically his dream job, im proud of him” he smiles “things are going really well”  
He puts a hand on his brothers back “ that is awesome Sammy, im happy for you”

“thank you”

As much as he likes to tease his Brother about his love life and all its trouble, he really is happy for him  
The night goes on like that, the two sit and talk about what is going on in there lives and what the future holds. Apparently after Sam graduates him and Gabe are going to travel, get out of the city for a bit and experience life outside the neon lights. It makes sense, Sam has never like the city and it makes sense that he would want to get out of it the second he could, but something about it still made his heart hurt.

“what about you big brother, what’s going on in your mysterious life?”  
Its not that he dident like talking about himself, its more so the fact that he never knew what to say

“Nothing much, training and fighting and all that” 

“no secret love life we don’t know about?” there is mischief in his eyes. Dean swallows the lump that forms in his throat

“you know me, im married to the gym” that was what he told everyone whenever they asked. He was “to busy” to have friends or relationships, and in a way it was true, but only he  
knew that there was more to the story then what meets the eye

“what about that girl Jane, she is totally into you” 

He thought of Jane and her long brown hair, of her blue eyes and sun kissed skin  
He looked down at his hands “shes not really my type”  
Sam looks at him as though he is reading every though he has ever had, and knows every secret he has ever kept. It makes him want to walk away, do anything to escape his gaze. He knows he should just man up and tell him, Sam of all people would understand, but he just couldn’t. he seems to notice his mortal dilemma and decided to drop the subject and get ready for bed. He was never more grateful for 

“its hotttttt here” Sam says as he falls out of the car. 

That morning the trio had gotten back into the car and drove the last six hours of their trek and finally got to their destination, or so he thought. The hotel he was at seemed to be something right out of a movie. The lobby was one of the biggest rooms he had ever seen, with crystal chandeliers and velvet couches adorning the room. It was far too fancy to be hosting a bunch of fighters, and he would have turned around and got back into the car if a flash of gold had not caught his attention.

Castiel Novak.

Although he stood with his back to Dean, his Dark hair and gold jacket were unmissable. The sight made his head spin. He was standing alone with his single fighter Jordan.

“there is Cas and Jordan!” said Sam as he made her way over to them. Despite his brothers protest Sam had somehow became good friends with Cas. The two apparently met up at one of his famous parties one night and hit it off. Since then they have been all but glued to the hip. He admits that Cas can be intriguing, with his crazy hair and brilliant eyes, but he knows the truth behind the mask.

“I don’t know why your friends with him” he scuffed as they slowly walked towards the enemy  
The look he gave him was enough to know he should keep the rest of his thoughts to himself.

“Cas!!!” he says while wrapping his arms the strangely well dressed man

“Sam, what a pleasant surprise! I didn’t think you were gonna be able to make it” his voice comes out light, like he actually means what he’s saying. Dean just rolls his eyes. As the two pull away he clears his throat in as much annoyance as he can muster. Cas looks at him if just for the first time he is realizing he is also standing there, for a second the arrogance he wants the world to see falls before he smiles. Dean cant help but fidget, something about Cas full attention on him always made him fidget and feel exposed  
He raked his eyes up and down Deans body as if he were sizing up an opponent before a fight, “and you Dean, its nice to see you again.” 

“Cas.” Is all he says as he walks past him to the check in desk  
-

“what do you mean you only have three rooms available? We booked this fight months ago!” this was not happening right now 

“Sorry sir, but we just assumed that because you are both from New York that you would be from the same gym” she looked to be about eighteen years old and he could tell that this is the first time she has ever had to work at anything in her entire life, she had no idea about the chaos that she just through his life into. She rolled her eyes, “its unusually to have two gyms from the same city fighting each other” Dean looked at her with eyes that could kill, she dose not even care! Before he can respond he feels a hand on his arm holding him back before Cas steps up to the desk

“well you would be very mistaken. You see, we are very different gyms and it would really help us out if you could get us a few extra rooms,” he flashed her a smile that seemed as genuine as he could muster, “im sure a smart girl like you knows how to get things done” he lend in while batting his eye lashes, he thinks he is so impressive and handsome, unbelievable! Leave it to Cas to start flirting in what Dean can only call crises 

“im really sorry” a blush starts to form on her skin “but we are all booked up for the fight” that’s all Dean has to hear before he walks away leaving Cas to grab the hotel keys  
Unbelievable. of course they end up having to share rooms with Nephilim on the weekend of Hayden big fight! Briefly he thinks about just getting another hotel room, somewhere far away from Cas and his fighter, but when he looks back at the small group he knows he cant do that. Hayden and Jordan seem to be talking about something that includes a lot of hand motions and Sam has a smile plastered across his face as she laughs at something Dean is sure is not really funny. Just because he has a problem with Cas it dose not mean he can take this away from Hayden and Sam. Slowly he walks back over to the group.

“so there are three of us and two of you, how do you want to do this?” he says mostly to Cas since he seems to be the only one in charge 

“I need my own room” Hayden pips in from the side.  
The rest of the group looks at him like he had grown two heads. Leave it to Hayden to think no matter what is happening, he must still be the most important person in the room. Okay, he might be thought Dean.

“Hayden we only have three rooms” said Sam, his voice like ice

“sorry guys, I need my own space” not even Jordan who is also fighting seems to need as much special attention as Hayden dose. Whatever, there is no arguing with him when he’s in this mind set.

“okay whatever, so then I guess its me and Sam, and then sorry Jordan, you and Cas are going to have to share a room” Dean says, standing up ready to leave  
Sam put a hand on his shoulder 

“actually, im sorry man, but I cant stand another night with your snoring, I was ready to suffocate you while you slept”, Hayden laughed from behind him, shaking his head “how about me and Cas share a room, and then you and Jordan share” he says, the rest of the group seems to agree

“absolutely not” says Dean before anyone can agree.

There is no way that he is letting his baby brother share a room with Cas. It doesn’t matter that he has a boyfriend as much as he trust his brother he knows that the way Cas skin turns to something like gold when the light hits it right is something that will not be over looked, that commitment has never stopped Cas before. There is absolutely no way he is letting them share a room.

He looks around at the room and sees a smile start to form on Cas face, he starts to laugh

“Well then Dean, I guess its going to be you and me”  
He looks around the group in disbelieve before realizing the hole that he had dug himself into. No going back now

“I guess it is” he says. The thought of sharing a room with Cas for 5 days makes his skin crawl, but so be it.


	2. TWO

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey people thank you for reading this!!! i hope you like this chapter!!

“well this is it” Dean murmured as he opened the door to their hotel room

The group had decided they all wanted to get settled in before they met up to hit one last round of pads, other then Sam of course, who’s boyfriend had surprised him and driven out to be with him for the fight, something that had made even Deans heart melt. Still, he is not thrilled to be alone with Cas.  
He walked into the room and the situation somehow got worse. The room was as small if not smaller then the locker room at the gym, with two single beds against both walls and a small table. He was pretty sure he’s had closets bigger than the room.

“well..at lest there are two beds” Cas laughs. He’s trying to lighten the mood, like that were possible. He puts his hand on Deans shoulder, and suddenly the pinhole sized room seems even smaller. He walks away to put his bag on the bed closest to the wall.

“how was your trip down here, I heard from Sam that you all drove down?” Cas says as he swipes dust of off the table. It was apparent that this room was not up to his standard

“yeah we did, it was fine” said Dean. He dident care about small talk. Cas sighs from the front of the room and Dean cant help but turn around to face him. the minute he did he wished he didn’t. There was no denying the fact that Cas was maybe somewhat attractive, his fight name was “pretty boy” for a reason, but it was something Dean tried not to let himself think about but when he turned and saw him standing there against the windows, the sun surrounding him looking like a halo from god yet his dark hair making him look like a gift from the devil, Dean could not think anything other then beauty. He cleared his throat. Now was not the time for that.  
The expression on his face turned from smug to annoyance, and for some reason Dean thought it looked out of place

“look, dean I understand that you have some deep rooted hatred for me and my gym, and quite frankly I don’t blame you, but cut the shit with this stupid petty game we go back and forth with. Believe me, I don’t like this anymore then you do but I’m willing to put our personal differences aside for the next five days if you are” Cas laughed “if not we can fight to the death and call it a weekend, its up to you” he gave him a smirk  
Dean just stared at him. What was he supposed to say to that ‘I think ill go with fight to the death thank you very much’? as much as he hated it, this was the situation there were in and it would do no good for anyone for them to act like children.

“fine, okay yeah whatever” he gave him a cautious look. 

Cas seemed happy with that answer as he walked across the room to stand in front of him, so close that he noticed the flakes of green in his eyes where.  
He put out his hand and smiled “friends?”   
He looked at Cas out stretched hand, slowly, he took it. “temporarily”  
This was going to be along weekend

\---

“good Hayden!!” Dean yelled. He was currently holding one last round of pads before weigh ins in the morning. He was feeling confident; he was hitting strong, and moving fast. The only thing that gave him hesitation was the fact that Cas and Jordan were standing right beside them doing there own work out. It made him uneasy knowing that they were watching his every move, even though Cas is laughing at a joke Jordan said like he doesn’t have a care in the world, even Jordan seems relaxed, lounging on the ground like he owns the place. Dean looks away 

“okay, your done” he says to Hayden eve though hes still looking at other two standing across from him. He hears Hayden laugh 

“Five minutes sharing a room with Cas and you cant get your eyes off him”   
Dean feels all the blood drain from his face. Dose Hayden—dose he know? A thousand thoughts start running through his mind but before he can spiral to far Hayden laughs again 

“dude I was just kidding, you don’t have to freak out” haha very funny . 

“ha-yeah, yeah I know” he says trying to stop his heart from beating out of his chest. He doesn’t want to think about Hayden of all people being made aware of his relationship preference. Really he doesn’t want to think about anyone other then himself being made aware of it, its really no ones business but his own.

“so how is sharing a room with him?” Hayden asks while unwrapping his hands. 

“its only been five minutes and I already can't wait for it to be over,” he says, taking once last glance at Cas and his fighter before looking back at his.

“oh it can't be that bad, who knows, maybe it won't be as bad as you think”

“says the man who gets an entire room to himself!!” 

“true” it only takes a moment for them to start laughing at their own jokes and as soon as they do things feel normal for a moment.   
After the laughter dies down Hayden looks over at Cas sitting on the floor “they really are something aren’t they” he laughs at that

“that’s an understatement” the two gaze at each other a second before Dean clears his throat

“so- are you going back to your room or going out with Jordan? Remember weigh-ins are really early tomorrow” there he is, back to being the mother hen of the group

“yeah, I think a bunch of us are going to head down to the pool, try to sweat out the last couple pounds in the hot tub, your welcome to join us” 

“thanks-yeah im just going to head back to the room, try to get some sleep” he picked up his gym bag then put his hand on Hayden's shoulder, he needed to hear this “but hay, please remember that even though you and Jordan are all buddy-buddy now and seem to be friends, tomorrow you are both going to walk into the ring with the mind set only one of you is going to walk out. just remember that” Haydens face changed with the words, suddenly serious 

“I know Dean, don’t worry” he must have seen the fear in his eyes. He would never admit it but he was almost more nervous about Haydens fight then Hayden was! He nods at his friend before walking away, but before he could he added

“oh yeah, and no food because your still fat!!” it was a common saying in the fight world, one that catches people off guard when they are not used to it, but Hayden takes it like a champ and laughs

“yes sir” he says

-

Instead of going up to the room like he intended to do he ends up finding a quite corner in a coffee shop. Finally, somewhere he can think. Hayden is going to step into the ring In less then twenty hours. Rationally he knew that nothing that bad was going to happen, and if it did they would deal with it like they always do. Fighting was a sport that puts your life on the line every time you step into the ring, Hayden knew this. He was ready to fight and was going to be fine. No matter how much he told himself this, he could not stop picturing Hayden laying on canvas covered in his own blood, he screams at him to get up, to do anything but all he dose is lay there. The image has made itself a permanent resident in his brain. The terror is like a fire in his chest that makes this throat feel impossibly small. He looks down at his hands and sees that there are shaking. Calm down he tells himself, taking a deep breath trying to stop the tremors from over coming him. Its funny, you’d think that a big time fighter like him who gets into the ring to hit people would not have such bad anxiety, but he dose. Its one thing he has struggled with his entire life and with Haydens fight on the horizon its becoming a bigger problem then anticipated. Just breath. He takes another sip of his coffee, trying to drown his thoughts. He cant just sit around like this over thinking every little thought. Maybe it’s a good thing he is stuck in a room with Cas this weekend, at lest he will not have a moment to himself to think. 

Thinking of Cas made him remember that it was currently 3am and he had to get up at 6am for way ins. It was time to face the music. Slowly, he gets up and head back to the room.  
When he gets back, the room is dark expect for the lamp on the bedside table, which Cas must have forgot to turn off when he fell asleep with what looks like some YA book in his hands. He is relived to find out he is asleep, not having the mental strength to play his games right now. As quietly as he possibly can, he sneaks off to the bathroom to change out of his jeans into a pair of sweat pants. On his way back he goes to pick up his laptop, not yet ready to sleep and in the dark he misses the bottle of Advil sitting on top and spills it all over the room. He cringes at how loud the sound is in the quiet room. Cas shifts. Crap   
He hears him mumble something from across the room “Dean..?” his voice was rough from sleep, it turned something in Dean’s chest, something he didn’t want to think about.   
He looks at the spilled pills on the ground, trying to stop the blush that is creeping up his neck from being caught in the dark, not that he was doing anything bad it’s the fact that he was being careless. 

“sorry, I was just trying to get my computer, sorry for waking you” 

“its nothing, where were you its like three am” he looks in the direction of the sound and holy shit.

Cas was sitting up in bed, putting his still open book down on the bedside table. The light from the lamp beside him turned his skin to something that reminded him of liquid gold. There was something inhuman to the way he looked like this; it was remarkably human. In a way Dean forgot he could look like. His hair which was normally perfectly styled, was lose and messy, he looked like something unreal. Dean could do nothing but stare.   
Cas must have noticed 

“like what you see?” his voice was still lower then normal from sleep, but he had a smirk on his face that made Deans brain scream MAYDAY MAYDAY ABORTE MISSION, he needed to get a grip on himself, but couldn’t stop the blush that filled his face. 

“you wish” he mumbled trying to remember himself. This was Cas. Not some guy he met a bar, or Hayden. It was him, who may be admittedly beautiful but was also cruel and cold. He could break your heart in one word, something Dean had person experience with. Cas was everything he never wanted to be. He needed to breath.  
He walked over to his bed before answering his original question

“I um-I just needed some air”

“ah, you clear your head?” apparently not. Dean tried to collect his thoughts and get his head on straight but all he could think about was Cas in the lamplight. That’s it, this needs to end

“um-y-ya” he clears his throat. Get it together “yeah. I did, thanks. “ he got up and put the laptop down, suddenly no longer interested in whatever it was he was going to look up, he just wanted to go to sleep and forget that fact that Cas Is there at all.  
Cas watches his movements like a predator waiting to stick. It was both terrifying and exciting having his sole attention. What was wrong with him. 

“good”, he turned off the light and laid back down, seeming to be done with the conversation at hand. Dean was thankful

“get some sleep dean, the boys weigh in in the morning” with those words he closed his eyes and turned away

Dean got into to bed and just laid there. What was that? His mind was going crazy with the image of Cas’a makeup less face and golden skin. This was not something that he wanted to think about right now, nor something he ever wanted to think about ever again. Cas may be beautiful to look at but that did not change who he was. It did not change the fact that he was not someone to be friends with, he cared for no one but himself, and did what was best for himself. He was arrogant and disrespectful and Dean needed to get it together and stop acting like he is something that he’s not. Cas is not his friend, not someone he can talk to or think about. He was just a boy who happened to be sharing a room with him whom his best friend was going to fight (in some ways he guess” he should be thinking about Haydens fight, or weigh ins, he should be making sure that he’s at weight and ready but instead he cant stop his mind from playing the imagines over and over in his mind, and for the first time in weeks he fell asleep with something other then the terror for Hayden on his mind.

*BEEP BEEP BEEP*

“mhhhnmm” Dean groans at the all to soon sound of an alarm clock, one that he dose not remember setting.

Its fight day.  
he shoots up in bed so fast that his head spins with the sudden blood rush. He ignores it.. He looks to this right, expecting to see Cas sitting there is all his glory, but instead he looks over and sees an empty bed. Confused, Dean looks at the clock and freezes when he sees what it says.  
8am.

That cant be right, weigh-ins where at 6, someone would have woken him up, but when he checks his phone, he sees a text from Hayden. Or better yet multiple texts

“where are you! Everyone is here and waiting for you”

“everyone made weight.”   
Dean jumps out of bed and throws on a t shit while stumbling slash running out the door. How could he do this it as one of the biggest days of Hayden life so far and he missed the beginning of it . why didn’t Cas wake him up? Where was Cas ? Dean had so many questions and he didn’t have time to answer any of them, all that mattered now was getting to Hayden.

When Dean got down to the ballroom where the fights were taking place, he couldn’t believe the number of people. He knew it was a big tournament with lots of fighters, but this was a whole new level of crowded. Despite the growing panic in his chest he can’t help but smile when he sees the fighters walking around like the own the place, the serious look on their faces even though they are just as scared as anyone else. The smell of thai liniment so strong that he can partially taste it. all of this makes him smiles because this is where he belongs. He feels at home. his trance-like state is frozen by the sound of Hayden yelling across the room 

“Hey sleepy head! We are over here!”   
Dean looks around, trying to find the source of the sounds. He eventually spots them. Jordan and Sam are sitting in the corner, a little too close for Dean,s liking. All the fight bags surround them and it seems that they have found a spot to call home for the day.. He turns his eyes to Hayden, sitting on a chair getting his hands wrapped by Cas fucking Novak. Dean runs over with a new passion in in his step. Why is Cas wrapping Haydens hands? He is not his coach; he has no right to be anywhere near them even though it seems that they are destined to spend the weekend attached at the hip.

“whats going on” he asks, slighting out of breath

Dean looks to Hayden, then to Cas .

“well you were late, so Cas here is wrapping my hands. And yes before you ask we both made weight and passed medicals.” He gives Dean a wink that makes his heart stop, not the time.

If he was already wrapping his hands that must mean that he fights sooner rather than later. Did Cas every plan on waking him up?   
He looked to Cas and could not help but notice the gold in his hair from the day before had been changed to blue, the same color as Jordan’s corner. 

“the boys fight in ten minutes. It’s a good thing you got hear when you did” Dean gives him his best cold stair, even though it fails miserably 

“thanks for waking me up by the way” he mumbles, moving to sit in the chair beside Hayden

“you were up most of the night, I figured you could use the extra couple hours of sleep. You get grumpy when your tried” Cas gave him a smirk that twisted something in his gut. he felt the blood rush to his head at the words

“do not.” He said back. Hayden looked between the two of them

“you are absolutely right, how on earth did you know that” the stress on the words made Dean want to run out of the room, he knew were this was going 

“oh, didn’t you know? Me and Dean over here were the best of friends once upon a time” yeah before Cas started partying and sleeping around and became absolutely dreadful.  
Hayden seemed to need a minute to process the words, Dean decided that it was time.

“alright now that we have that out of the way, Cas I appreciate your help but I need time alone with Hayden and I’m sure there is stuff you and Jordan need to talk about without us, so what I’m saying is very kindly piss off” he smiled at the end, making it known he was saying it with the best intentions. He didn’t know whether it was the odd conversation from last night or the emotions over Hayden fighting but Dean did not want to disrupt the new formed peace between him and Cas , for the moment it worked in both their favors to be peace. Cas slowly got up, playing up the drama of the situation

“as you wish my dear. Hayden, good luck out there.” He turned towards then and took a bow “gentlemen and Sam, I will see you on the other side” 

Dean rolled his eyes but could not stop the smile from reaching across his face.   
As soon as Cas was gone, the game was on. 

The next minutes fly by in what seems like seconds and before he can even requester what’s happening, he is standing in the pit with Hayden, gear on, ready to fight. He looks at   
Hayden, his face as neutral as he can plausibly keep it even though he can feel terror raise up his throat, into his head making it hard to breath. He will be alright he tells himself. For someone so used to watching fights he has never been good at watching people he cares about fight. He does his best to hide his fear from Hayden but he knows that it is to no avail

“its going to be alright Dean” Hayden smiles at him, trying to reassure him. This is not how it should go. He should be the one reassuring Hayden

“don’t worry about me. Alright Hayden this is it. when you step into that ring, its only you in there. Not me, not Cas ,” he looks over Haydens shoulder at Cas who for the first time since he arrived looked like a fighter; with his hair tide back, a serious expression that somehow seemed out of place on his face. He turned his attention back to Hayden “this is what you have worked for. You can do this. You just need to go out there and throw everything you got. I believe in you” he puts a hand on Haydens shoulder. He smiles in return  
In the minutes before the fight Dean cant help but look back at Cas . he looks so different. The black vest he wears shines blue in the light. Dean wonders if he has a similar one but in red. When he turns his head and their eyes met, there is something dark in Cas eyes that Dean has never seen before. He looks beautifully dangerous. Hayden must have noticed 

“I cant believe it took less then twenty-four hours for you to start crushing on Cas , your mortal enemy, when were you gonna tell me?” there was a lightness to Haydens voice that had no right to be there when talking about…that. The terror already in his throat seems to intensify even more, making his head spin. Calm down, he tells himself over and over, this is not the time. Hayden must see his face go white because he puts his hand on Deans shoulder trying to ground him back to earth 

“its alright Dean. Your alright” Dean looked at Cas behind Haydens face, and for a second he thought that Cas looked concerned

“lets talk about that later” Dean said a little out of breath “right now lets just focus on you, and getting out there and winning” as soon as he said it, the current fight ended and Hayden was getting called to the ring. It was go time.

Dean walks Hayden up to the ring, mouth guard in one hand and a towel in the other. form where they were standing the ring looked like a stage towering above everything else. As they walked up the stairs Dean could feel the adrenalin run through his veins. He gave Hayden one last glance, to reassure him that he was here and he was going to be okay. Fighting was one of the scariest things in the world. You walk into a ring not knowing if you are ever going to walk out of it. its terrifying and Dean loves every second of it. as Hayden jumps over the ropes, and feels the canvas under his feet for the first time he cant help but be jealous. Across the ring Cas and Jordan make their way to the ring, Cas has the sam look of determination as before, Dean looks away.

He scans the crowd but he lights make it impossible to make a face out. as Jordan steps into the ring Dean calls Hayden over for a final word. This was Deans favorite part.  
He put his hand on the back of Haydens neck and drew him in so that they were in a pare position, so close that he swears he could hear Haydens heartbeat, or maybe it was just his own.

“alright buddy, here we go. Do it for me, do it for you, do it for your family. Fight safe, fight well, believe in yourself. You are good enough, you are strong enough. You got this” he pulls away and gives him one last smile

The words whispered before a fight is in Deans opinion the most intense part of a fight,. It is the moment that it become reals. All the blood, sweat, tears, all of it comes down to five short minutes, its during the prayer that you realize it  
Hayden walks to the middle of the ring to touch gloves with Jordan, and the fight begins

The fight starts off slow with Hayden jumping around more then he should be. He’s tense, Dean thinks. 

“GO Hayden” he yells from the corner, if Hayden has any chance, he has to go.  
Before he gets a chance, Jordan lands a right hook just below his eyes, his hands shoot up in defense too late to stop it. Hayden counters with several jabs and crosses, nothing has the power to do some real damage 

“one two, one two!!” he yells. Hayden however does not seem to get the message because all he does is put his hands up, and take shot after shot.   
He cant look away from the disaster unfolding in front of him. it’s like watching two car coliid. As much as your mind is screaming at you to look away you have to watch the chaos  
The first round continues much like that, Hayden throws too little shots while Jordan does not seem to stop. When the bell rings to signal the end of the round, Dean jumps into action.

“Hayden, buddy, at me” Dean says with authority. He puts ice over his head, and rubs out his legs. Hayden seems to be focused on anything other than Dean in that moment. 

“ I need to you listen to what I’m saying,” he looks Dean in the eyes, and he’s taken aback by the amount of fear. Usually the fear aspect of the fight Is over the second the first bell   
rings, but Hayden is still looking up at him with big eyes filled with fear. “you need to keep your hands up, and throw” Dean finishes, his hand on the side of Haydens head.

“you’ve worked too hard to go out like this man, you need to give it absolutely everything you can” he says, a hint of begging in his voice. Hayden will lose if he keeps going on like this. He has trained to had for it to be over like this.  
Hayden nods his head franticly. 

“take a deep breath and go” says Dean as the bell once again rings.

As the fighters get back into the middle he sneaks a glance across the ring at Cas , who still wears a look of pure determination and focuses on his face. Dean looks away.

“and go!” the ref says 

This time Hayden is the first to throw, he throws a hook to the head, followed by a beautiful body kick, Dean cant help but cheer. 

“DO IT AGAIN” he yells.   
And he does, Hayden throws shot after shot, his pace never slowing down. Jordan, in an act of frustration throws himself into the clinch, Dean swears he can hear Cas tell him to stop. Everyone knows not to clinch with Deans guys. Hayden controls the clinch, he whips Jordan around like the weighs nothing, throwing knee after knee, he makes it look easy.  
Pride over takes him as he looks at Hayden, his best friend, his student who he has spent months and months training for this moment, he is doing exactly what he is supposed to be doing

“go!!Yes keep going!!” Dean is on his feet now, he can’t help it, he quickly looks at Sam in the crowd, who is on her feet screaming as loud as she can. He smiles  
Jordan throws a nasty body shot that destroys their clinch as the round comes to a close, Hayden walks away with his head held high.

“hay, that was perfect” Dean says, putting ice over his swollen eye

“you guys are tied one and one, the fight is yours if you keep doing what you are doing, I’m so fucking proud of you” Dean says with a smile.   
When he looks at Hayden this time instead of unfocused and scared, he looks determined. He looks right through Dean to Jordan on the other end of the ring.

“you ready to do this?” he asks  
Hayden nods 

The bell goes and the last round begins.

Hayden starts off strong, using the momentum of his last round to carry him through to this one, Jordan takes shot after shot without backing up, which makes Hayden stumble, that’s all it takes.  
Jordan grabs him around his middle in an act of desperation and Dean knows what’s about to happen before it dose. He looks to Cas across the ring.

“stop this!!!” he yells but it’s to late.  
Jordan wraps his arms around Haydens middle, he squeezes his arms together while kneeing his sides, like a Boa constrictor consuming his pray. he screams. Jordan is breaking his ribs. 

Dean looks at Cas . How could he do this? 

“Cas !!!! Stop this!!” he yells across the ring. This is not supposed to happen. Cas looks at Dean, his face is just as shocked.   
Hayden screams in pain, no longer defending himself, Jordan throws him onto the ground with all his force. Hayden does not get back up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! poor Hayden!!!! leave kudos and comments if you liked this!!!1


	3. THREE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you guys like this one!!

Dean feels like he is watching everything in slow motion. Jordan jumps onto the ropes in victory, and Hayden stays on the ground. The ref calls the fight and the second he does; Dean is in the ring.  
He runs to Hayden's side, putting his hands on either side of his face.

“hay, Look at me, your going to be alright” Dean whispers

Hayden’s eyes are unfocused   
He runs his fingers through his hair in an act of comfort, trying to help him In whatever way he can. He can’t breath.  
Hayden cries as tried to move

“Dean...” he says through gritted teeth

“ you’re going to be alight” Dean focuses on Hayden’s eyes, ignoring his own fear, he can’t think about that now, all that matters is him.

Someone puts their hair on Deans shoulder, he jumps and is surprised to see Cas standing there

“Hayden, your going to be alright. No matter what happened you won that fight. You did everything right. just hang on” Cas was now on his knees beside Dean, his hand never leaving his shoulder, the contact kept him grounded to earth. He didn’t know what to say to Cas so he focused back on Hayden. He could deal with Cas later.  
The medics were beside them what felt like hours later when it was only a few seconds, then they were carrying Hayden away on a board to a private room. Dean stayed right beside him the whole time, saying encouraging things until Hayden believed him, or maybe until he himself believed it. when the doctor rushed into the room, Dean was told to wait outside, out of options he did the only thing he could and agreed. 

“he’s going to be okay Dean” Cas is sitting beside him on the bench outside the medical room, his hand once again on his shoulder. He barely hears him speak. His heart is racing thousand beats per minute. He looks down at his hands. He is sweating 

“listen to me” Cas tries again, using a voice far to soft to come out of his mouth. The room seems to be getting smaller by the second. Hayden is hurt. He is hurt. It was like every fear Dean had ever had about him stepping in the ring came true. Jordan hurt him. Jordan is Cas fighter, someone must have taught him how to do that move. He whips his head around to Cas ; his panic quickly being replaced by anger. Cas must see the sudden change because he quickly draws his hand back in.

“how could you teach him that?” he voice is not as hard as he wanted it to be. a part of him doesn’t want to hear the answer because he already knows it. The same part of him doesn’t want to hear Cas say the words that would prove that everything Dean thought about him was true. That he really is a disrespectful asshole. A part of him wanted to stay in the bubble of peace that the two had created, he thought of the comfort he felt by Cas hand on his shoulder, about him letting him sleep in because he knew he was up all night with worry. Dean shook his head. He can’t think about that 

“Deanr” Cas moved his head so that the two are face to face, eye to eye “I know you don’t have a very high opinion of me, or my fighters which in all fairness I deserve, but you need to believe me, I would never tell Jordan to do something like that. What he did was not only illegal but disrespectful not only Hayden but to you as well and Im truly sorry it had to happen like that. It was wrong” Cas looks away from him. he wears a look of shame on his face and it looks out of place. Cas was never anything other then confident and proud, even if he majorly messed up. But as he sits beside Dean looking shameful and shy, he looks like a different person. . Dean can’t keep up with all the thoughts running through his head so he says nothing. Cas notices his silence.

He sighs and tried again

“Dean, if I had told Jordan to win like that, why would I be sitting here with you right now instead of out celebrating with my fighter?” the words leave his mouth in almost a plea, as if he needed Dean to understand that he wasn’t the monster everyone thought he was. This new side of him was almost vulnerable in how much emotion was written across his face. It was a side Dean had not seen in years. There was no prefixes or disguises, the moment was real and sincere and Dean could not help but want to believe him. he remembered the way that Cas had been around the fighters, the dark look of passion in his eyes, he looked like a man in love, it was the same look Dean had on his face when he stood in the ring. 

He couldn’t fake that. 

“I believe you. We may not have the best relationship but I don’t think you would tell Jordan to do that” saying it out loud felt like a confession. He really did believe him. what a crazy world it is. He looks at Cas and feels the gears of their relationship change, it was a moment of understanding and Dean swears that he sees a flash of hope on Cas face  
. 

“someone here for Hayden?” what seems like hours later a doctor looking person walked into the room 

“yes, hello, is he okay” Dean puts on his best professional face, trying to look indifferent to the whole situation, even though his mind is screaming at the doctor to tell him everything. The doctor must be used to it

“relax son, he’s going to be fine” he says the words light, like its just another sentence, not the fate of Deans best friend 

“he’s obviously not fine, otherwise he would not be here” he says, venom lacing every word. He stares at the doctor with daggers in his eyes. He hears Cas laugh from behind him before he feels his presents beside him 

“my apologize doc, my friend here is a little tense. Can you please explain what is wrong” his voice is so different from a few minutes early when they had been talking, this voice was fake. He couldn’t help but apricate it either way. Maybe he was being a little much  
The doctor looked at both of them, and fondly shock his head

“well yes, he has a few cracked ribs, two to be exact. He also has a slight concussion from the fall, a broken wrist and a sprained back. From your concern I am going to assume that you must be Dean correct?” the doctor has a confused look on his face, like he expected it to be someone else 

“yes sir, this guy right here is the one and only Dean Winchester” Cas seems to have taken over the speaking roll, not letting Dean get a word in before he responded, probably to afraid that Dean was going to lash out at the doctor. Dean looked at Cas with fake annoyance, the smirk on Cas face proof that it was all a joke to him, but the conversation earlier made him think somewhere in the back of his mind it might be a little more

The doctor looked at Cas , then at Dean, then back to Cas . he shook his head for the third time in the past two minutes, something Dean wished he would stop doing

“sorry, I just assumed Dean was a girl” Dean felt the anger come back but before he could reply he felt Cas grip his arm like a act of restraint. “and why would you think that” Cas responded, his voice careful, ready to snap at any moment

“oh I didn’t mean to offend you, its just that Hayden was calling out for you while we set his arm.”  
Any anger Dean had had disappeared before the doctors eyes, his throat felt tight.

“can I see him?” he asked but didn’t wait for the answer. Before he walked through the door he turn back to Cas and shot him small smile

“give me a minute?” Cas put his arm around the doctor before nodding 

“Take all the time you want, ill just be out here with our new friend” he looked at the doctor with a pity look then opened the door to Haydens room.

The sight he saw took his breath away, not in a good way. In a world ending apocalyptic way  
The room was white. So white that it seemed to glow, it looked wrong. Hayden broken on the bed, with his arm in a cast, his torso and head covered in flawless white bandages, his eye was black. Yet despite all of that the second Hayden saw Dean a smile found its way to his face.

“I know what you are going to say” his voice was rough, “how do you still look angelic even when you’re a bit broken?” he smiled, and it was all it took for Dean to break

“Hayden” he breathed. It was the first time all day he had truly breathed. He was okay. Hayden noticed the look on his face, the smile he always wore faded into something real,   
something that was laced with fear

“Dean” his voice broke and before he knew what had happen he was beside him, sitting in the chair beside the bed.

“im alright” Hayden said, although Dean knew he wasn’t , they both did. right now was not the time to fight him about it. Dean knew that he would want to play it off as nothing, when really it was everything because that’s how Hayden was, and after this was all over and they were okay they would sit down and talk about it, but right now Hayden was alright, and that was all that mattered

“I know, I know you are” the two fell into an easy silence, neither really knowing what to say. They didn’t really need words. Suddenly Hayden jerked up

“oh my god, how is Sam? Is he alright? he must be freaking out right now” 

Sam

Dean must have looked like he had seen a ghost because suddenly Hayden was laughing 

“you forgot to tell him, didn’t you” he was laughing a real laugh, well as much as he could considering is ribs. How could he have forgotten about his brother. Hayden was on the ground, then he was with Cas and he had been thinking about so many things yet somehow he had forgotten about Sam  
His silence made Hayden laugh even louder.  
Before he could respond, there was a knock at the door with Cas peeking his head through it. 

“come in” Hayden said between laughs  
Dean made eye contact with Cas , and he looked more amused then Dean had ever seen him. whether it was Hayden turning the color of a tomato from laughing or his own face suddenly as pale as a ghost he wasn’t sure.

“may I ask what we are laughing about”

“Dean…forgot, to tell. Sam” Haydens laughter was dying now, but it was still in enough force that he had to breath between words

Cas face went from amused to absolute utter fear in about five seconds as he remembers he too forgot to inform Sam

“in my defense” he looked from Cas to Hayden “he forgot to tell him too!” before he knew it all three of them had burst into laughter. The thing was it was not a funny conversation, and it was not something that should have had Dean holding is gut from laughing so hard, but they all needed it. it was something where if you didn’t laugh you might cry and no one wanted to do that, not right now. Soon the laughter died down, and Cas pushed his hair out of his eyes before speaking

“well boys, the only rash thing to do here is to send Dean, his brother into the fire” he looked at Dean with joy “my apologizes, we shall always remember your sacrifice”  
with that they group burst into another round of laughter and Dean could not help but think about how despite the horrible situation, this was the most normal he had felt the entire weekend. He could not help but think how easily Cas fit into his life

“Sam I know! Im sorry” he pulled the phone away from his face so that the rest of the group could hear his brother all but screaming through the phone. he had apparently been locked out of the room by the medics and no one had told him anything. he had a right to be upset. 

“listen, no listen! he is alright, yes I know, he is fine” he looked at the two boys with daggers for making him do this

“why doesn’t he just come down here” yelled Hayden so that Sam could hear him through the phone. Dean looked at him with panic. He did NOT want to see Sam right now.

“wait-“ the line suddenly went dead

He sighed while putting the phone away, looking between Hayden and Cas 

“he will be right here”

Dean loved Sam, don’t get him wrong but he was the last person on the planet he wanted to see right now. He couldn’t bare the thought of him looking at Hayden with pain and worry, looking at Dean with accusation. He couldn’t look at him and see the blame in his eyes. he would be right of core, its Deans fault

“good luck with that you guys, I wish I could stay but I have some….official coaching business to attend to” he cringed at his own lie, it sounded so fake but lucky for him Hayden was to hyped up on pain medication and Cas …well Cas just seemed to know when Dean needed to be alone. He knew he would have to face Sam eventually; tonight, was just not that night. 

He said goodbye to Hayden, and as he walked out of the room he put his hand on Cas shoulder in a quick thank you, Cas seemed to get the gesture and nodded in responds.

-

As it turns out Dean’s lie had not really been that much of a lie. As the coach he had had to filled out all of Haydens medical paper, make the final decision of whether or not he is able to fight, he obviously is not. There were also lots of people waiting to see if he was okay, he even saw a distort looking Jordan pretending not to listen while he explain that he was okay. By the time he finally sat down he realized how exhausted he was. He had been so busy all day, had so many things to do that he had not let himself feel anything, or get caught up in it, he did what needed to be done and did not let his emotions get in the way. But now as he rode the elevator up to this room, for the first time all day he was utterly alone and he couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions that filled his head. He had to get to the room.   
When he opened the door the room was dark, save for the side lamp that Cas must of forgot to turn off before he fell asleep again. Thank god, Dean thought, he didn’t think he had the energy to deal with Cas right now who every second he has increasingly concerning feelings for. He turned off the lamp, and fell onto the bed, not even caring about removing his shoes, he needed to not feel anything for a moment,

.

.Hayden  
He can’t take his eyes off of his best friend. His broken best friend laying bloody and broken on the ground. The crowd fades into nothing but a blur of color and sound, he cant focuses on anything or anyone other than Hayden. His fighter, his brother, his responsibility.   
“Hayden” he trys to say but when he opened his mouth nothing came. He ran to the ring but the faster he tried the farther away he got, he ran until he could no longer breath and his lungs were burning  
“Hayden” he yelled again, this time his voice was no louder than a whisper.   
He felt the fear and panic rising is his chest. He close is eyes to calm down, to take a breath but when he opened them again suddenly he was in the ring, Hayden laying cold and blooding in front of him on the ground. He went to touch his friend.  
He pulled Hayden to his chest, stroking his blood soaked hair. He screamed.   
“wake up, please wake up” he cried. He could hear his heart beating in his ears, the only thing grounding him to earth. A feeling like absolute sorrow filled him until it was pouring out his eyes and down his face, he felt hopeless.  
“Hayden” he held him tighter. Maybe if he felt on tight enough, he would piece him back together again.   
“Dean” he turned his head, looking for the source of that voice. That familiar voice. He looked back to wear Hayden was resting against his chest and his heart broken even more when he saw what remained. Instead of Hayden in his arms it was Cas . Blood rolled down his face. A new wave of pain over took Dean as he stared at his once best friend, he was gone, and Hayden was gone, and it was all his fault. He held Cas tight to his chest.  
“ I’m so sorry, please wake up, you can’t leave me too”. He thought of childhood. Of him and Cas playing cards, swimming in the lake, of sleep overs that seemed to never end, a stolen kisses under the old playground.   
His lungs were on fire, he couldn’t breath  
“Dean” there was that voice again, louder now. He didn’t care.   
“please, its okay” he ignored it, caring only about the broken boy in his arms  
“Dean!!!”

his eyes open in a panic, he is sitting up before he can even register where he is. His heart is hammering in his chest, he can’t catch his breath. his vison star to blurs at the edges from lack of oxygen. He can’t breath. Hayden. Cas . He looks around, trying to find something, anything to ground onto, something to save him from drowning in the storm of his mind. he is in his room. He turns to the right to see Cas staring at him, his face twisted in worry. Dean looks at him with desperation. He’s okay?

“Dean. breath okay just breath” Cas takes his hands, and holds his gaze while deeply breathing in and out, waiting for Dean to follow his motions. He rubs small calming circles on the inside of his wrist. It’s the same thing he would do when they were younger. Slowly the panic started to leave him, he kept Cas stair, breathing like he was told. 

“there, your doing so well” he says, his voice is calm and sweet, he speaks the same way one would talk to an animal or baby, afraid they would spook if he spoke to loud  
Cas was sitting in front of him, in his-their room. He was okay. As if he could read Dean’s thoughts Cas spoke again

“its okay, I’m okay. Hayden Is okay. It was a dream, everyone is okay” he made sure to give Dean his best smile.   
He’s okay. Slowly he started to breath. they were okay, he was going to be okay. He clung onto Cas hand. It felt like electricity shooting up his arm, he used that feeling to ground him. 

They stayed like that for an unknown amount of time. Once Dean was okay, a new emotion filled him. Shame, embarrassment. He let go of Cas hands and got up. He paced to the other side of the room, suddenly needing to be as far away from him as possible. He was not his friend; this was not something that should be happening. In his panic he had reverted back to a child, but now he was not. He cleared his throat, heat rushing his face.

“um, sorry about that” he said less confidently then he wanted it to sound. He looked at Cas sitting on the edge of the bed, his face was calm  
“there is nothing to apologize for. Lucky for us that trick still works” he looked like he was going to say more but stopped  
an awkward silence filled the room, or maybe it was just awkward for Dean. The intimacy from the last moments to fresh. 

“you should go back to sleep. Jordan fights tomorrow” he said as he went to grab a shirt from his bag. There was no way he was going to get anymore sleep tonight, he was not even going to try.

“where are you going to go? I assume sleep is not on your mind anymore” Cas was already on his feet, moving to throw on a hoodie that he found on the floor, Dean paused.  
In his panic he had not had a chance to see him, not really. He looked exhausted, and human. Suddenly images from his dream flashed in front of his eyes and he had to bit his tong. 

“wait-what are you doing?” he asked, broken from his trance by Cas grabbing the hotel key from the table beside him. When did he get so close? 

“well since you so kindly woke me up in the middle of the night, the lest you can do is buy me a coffee” Cas was not asking, he was simply stating. Not giving Dean an option to say no. he wanted to run, to stay away from Cas for the rest of the trip after what had happened but as he looked at him, really looked at him he realized he was exhausted. Maybe for it won’t be so bad, maybe for tonight they can be okay. 

Dean had forgotten how easy it was to simply hang out with Cas .  
The two were sitting in the same café that Dean had sat in the night before. It was a little coffee shop meant for late night meetings or events. Whether it was because of the fights or divine intervention, there was no one else in there. They settled down at a small table, sitting in big comfy chairs that had Dean not been still reeling from his dream would have been soft enough to sleep in. 

Cas was laughing at something Dean had said, and in that moment, it was like they were young again, untainted by the harshness of the world, it was something Dean did not know he needed. It was natural and something he could do without thinking. Dean could not help but laugh.

“now why are you laughing” asked Cas . Dean just looked at him for a moment before responding

“just at life. How did we end up here, Dean Winchester and Cas Novak reconnected and sitting at a coffee shop?” If someone had told him five days prior that he would be sitting in a coffee shop with Cas at 3am having a nice time, he would have laughed in there face, but here they were.

Cas contemplated his answer before he himself started to laugh

“your right, this was a weird turn of events without a doubt, one that im not upset about to say the lest,” Cas smiled a regretful smile before his face grew serious 

“about New York—” 

“please, please can we not have this conversation right now” Dean knew what he was going to say. Images of the back room of a night club on a warm summer night, Cas kissing some guy who wasn’t him. He knew what he wanted to talk about and frankly Dean did not want to be at odds with Cas right now. Cas bit his toung and just nodded, realizing that now might not be the best time

The two fell into silence, but it was not awkward or uncomfortable, it was the silence of two people who knew how to be around each other. Despite his dislike of Cas , they had a history that could not be forgotten. It was a silence that was safe and consuming in all the best ways. Dean looked at Cas and was shocked to find him already staring back at him. He would not let him win, so he kept his gaze. Cas seemed amused with Deans challenge, a smirk finding its way onto his face. Beautiful was a word Dean had found himself using to describe Cas more then he was okay with, but he knew it was true. He didn’t have to like him to be able to see that. At the thought he felt the heart rise to his face. Cas smiled.

“you alright? You seem to be turning the color of a popular food” 

“whatever” 

Cas laughed 

“ah, I forgot how much the great Dean “The hunter” Winchester likes to blush” 

“and I forgot that the magnificent Cas “Pretty boy” Novak still drinks hot chocolate with marshmallows in it” as if to prove his point he points to Cas cup which is indeed filled with hot chocolate. Dean could help the laugh that escaped his lips as Cas pretended to be offended, he soon followed in laughter

“touché”

The two sat there laughing for a while before Cas put his mug on the table, his face once again serious.

“are you sure your okay Dean? We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want but im here for you if you do” Cas looked so sincere. Dean looked at him. He had spent the last five years despising the man in front of him, trying to forget that he ever met him, but here he was, looking at him with kind eyes and offering to hear all the demons he kept inside of his mind. He had to make a decision

“yeah im..” Cas eyes flash with hope. Dean makes the decision. “im not really okay”  
Cas smiled at him but did not say anything, encouraging him to continue 

“it was so real. Hayden was bleeding and broken on the ground, he never got up and I couldn’t get to him—” he took a deep breath “and when I did he was-he was gone, I just held him” he looked at Cas and swallowed the lump in his throat “when I looked back at him it wasn’t Hayden anymore, suddenly it was—it was you laying there de-dead covered in blood, I couldn’t help you, I couldn’t help him. It was my fault that both of you were there, it is my fault” Dean covered his face with his shaking hands, taking a deep breath. It was his fault Hayden got in the ring, he put him there.

He heard Cas sigh 

“oh…”

Dean couldn’t bare to see the sympathy in Cas face, he didn’t need It, especially from him.

“Dean…Hayden is going to be okay. He may be a little broken but that boy will be okay in no time. You only gave him the chance to fight, it was up to him If he wanted to do it and he knew the risks, you did everything you could have possibly done to get him ready; it was not your fault.” The surety in Cas voice makes him want to believe it. He looks up and meets his gaze, he’s shocked with what he finds. Cas face is full of guilt, a look Dean knew well. Quietly, almost like a whisper Cas says something Dean is not sure he was   
supposed to hear

“if anything…It was my fault” Deans head shoots up again, despite his mixed feelings towards Cas it was not his fault.

“Cas , its not your fault—”

“its my fighter. He did a stupid thing but there is nothing we can do about it now. All we can do is help Hayden get better, trust me, ill deal with Jordan”   
The two share a look that only comes with being a coach and having your fighter mess up or get hurt

“your right.”.

Dean though reasonable the only reason he was opening up to Cas about his feelings and life as much as he was it because there are different rules at night, it’s a different world. In   
that world they have no past, no skeletons in their closet, they are just two people who are having a coffee. But in the real world they are on opposite sides of the same war, and have a past he cant ignore. He has to deal with a broken Hayden and Cas has to deal with Jordan, somehow Dean doesn’t think it will be pleasant. Jordan also has to fight again in the finals, but they can deal with it all in the morning. but for now, Dean was okay staying in his made-up world where he was sitting in a little coffee shop drinking hot chocolate with Cas Novak

**Author's Note:**

> i hoped you have liked it, I promise it will get better!! thank you for reading and leave kudos if you liked it!


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